A door to the Undiscovered Country


I’ve had folks ask about my last FaceBook post, as in: Why are you going to Vancouver, and why are you so excited about an Open House at Vancouver Scool of Theology?

For those who don’t know: I went to seminary in Berkeley, lo, these many years ago. I got about 2/3 the way through before I had to drop out for all sorts of GrownUp Reasons. Most painful decision of my life. I have always wanted to go back and finish what I started. And, yes, this means I have always felt called to the ministry, ever since I was in high school.

Life has happened in the intervening years, and I was beginning to think I would have to give up on my heart’s desire because (a) too old, (b) not worthy, (c) fill in the blank. You name it, I worried about it.

Something clicked this past summer, and in September, I just finally said out loud, “I am going back to seminary, aiming for September 2019 .”

Be careful what you say outloud, for the Universe and the being I like to call The Ancient Love of Days are both listening and just might hear you.

In early October, something just clicked, and since then, I feel as though doors are slowly opening to Parts Unknown in that most Undiscovered Country of all, the Future.

I got an invite to attend this Open House on Nov. 1. And so, that’s where I am headed this next week.

I have made no big decisions. I haven’t got anything worked out yet. I have no clue where this is leading me. And I will, of course, look at the excellent seminaries here in Toronto as well as my original school in Berkeley.

All I know is: I’ve been listening to the Creator gently tapping on my wall for decades. Now, a door has opened, and I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t step through to see where it might lead.

Now, before anyone panics and thinks I am off to become the sort of christian who goes to Trump rallies…Hey. Have faith. I am myself, and I cannot be otherwise. I am still and always the crazy, wacky, tree-hugging, talker-to-animals, speaker of hard truths and woman struggling towards a life of kindness and compassion that I have always been. Ministry ideally calls us to seek the best of ourselves in service if the Good and Gentle; frankly, based on my past experiences, I suspect I will have rough edges smoothed and sour notes trained to proper pitch, becoming ever more the woman I have always been, stronger and more grounded, more able to participate with humility (I hope) and compassion in the day-to-day healing this world (and I myself) so desperately needs.

So, yes: Still excited. And still terrified, as is normal and natural each time one steps off the familiar comfortable path onto a new, uncertain path, especially if one does not have map nor flashlight.

Thank you for your support and love.

Somehow, I have a feeling that even those of you who had no clue what this was all about are probably not terribly surprised now that you know.

Fibre news, knitting/spinning progress reports, and possibly a finished object next time! And of course, I will be looking around beautiful Vancouver to see what exciting fibre-y goodness I might find to share with y’all!

Take care. Have courage these next two weeks or so, even though strong men shout to shake the world to its foundations, even as people struggle to remember what true freedom means; even as it seems the song of justice is getting harder and harder to sing. Trust yourself; speak what you know to be true, vote your conscience; and encourage others to do likewise.

Never forget:

We, the People of the United States of America.

WE. THE. PEOPLE.

United we stand. Divided we fall.

C’mon people now..let us love one another right now.

Xoxo 

About sandi

Knitter. Spinner. Quilter. UFO Wrangler. Sometime bead artist and weaver. Two toddler-age kittens, 1 permakitten, 2 grownup cats, 1 beloved dog angel, 1 spouse, 1 crazy life. I suppose that the 5 cats make me 1 crazy cat lady; OTOH, apparently, yes, I do need that much feline supervision.
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16 Responses to A door to the Undiscovered Country

  1. Lee says:

    How wonderful to learn that you will be able to follow this long-held dream! Many blessings as you step out in faith. And, that’s a lovely quilt square ~

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  2. Deb says:

    Much love as you follow your path. The quilt is beautiful.

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  3. rgordon2014 says:

    Sandi, that’s wonderful! Is it GTU or somewhere else?

    Love, Rebecca

    >

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    • sandi says:

      This time, I am visiting the Vancouver School of Theology up in British Columbia. It’s similar to the GTU in that it has instructors and students from several different faith traditions; one can study there and take the appropriate courses for one’s particular church family and be ready for the ordination process after graduation.

      Ironically, the GTU is having its Open House beginning Nov 3; I originally wanted to attend that, but was not able to get my Canadian passport paperwork done in time. (I can use the USA passport to leave Canada and go to the US; but to come back to Canada, I need the Canadian passport. Two passports!)

      I still hope to investigate GTU as one of my options for where to study; as I say, I haven’t made any solid decisions yet. Of course, in many ways, I would love to return to the place I started at GTU; unfortunately, the particular school I was enrolled in, the Franciscan School of Theology has moved down to …. wait for it …. San Diego, the other place I used to live in California!

      Life is never ever dull.
      (BTW: I don’t know if you have any connections to anyone hit by the tragedy in Pittsburgh; deepest shalom if you do. What a terrible terrible thing.)

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  4. Sandi, I admire the courage you have always shown in sharing your life with the world. I wish my nebulous hopes and desires would coalesce into something that made as much sense. Sending love and hugs

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  5. Jerry says:

    Sandi, If your path does lead you to the Bay Area, even for a few days, I think you would enjoy talking to a friend of mine who is, among other things, a minister.

    And you and readers here might find the “Empty Hands” music inspiring. Here’s a link to one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6FN0EmK87c “Love will rise again. It’s rising right now”

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    • sandi says:

      If I do manage to get to the Bay Area, I would love to talk to your friend the minister…right after I talk to YOU and Nancy!! I miss you folks. So if and when I get a chance to be there, absolutely let’s get together! xo

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  6. Rebecca F. Carpenter says:

    I’m very pleased for you! God bless!

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  7. Heather Cochran says:

    Beautiful….best wishes in your journey.

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  8. Enjoy every step of the journey on this path!

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  9. Tamara says:

    So excited for you. When I read your first paragraph, I thought “Well, yes, of course, that would be perfect for her.” You are unfailingly kind and compassionate (except to that hardest of all people to whom to be kind–yourself). I’m happy you’re able to hear and act on what the Universe is telling you and can’t wait to hear how it all unfolds. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  10. Barbara says:

    Regarding your thought about getting too old to pursue this dream/calling, a story: A friend’s friend was 40yrs old and told my friend of his long held desire to become an architect. “But it takes 5 years and in 5 years, I’ll be 45.” My friend answered, “yes, but in 5 years, you’ll be 45 anyway.” So go for it!!
    Also – Sweet Georgia Yarns is in Vancover.

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    • sandi says:

      Thank you for that story. I sort of thought along the lines of, well, in 5 years I will be older and if I don’t pursue this, I will be five years older with 5 more years of regret under my belt.

      Rather persuasive, that.

      Sweet Georgia Yarns!! I shall have to find a bit of time to, uh, shop for souvenirs!

      Like

  11. Kathy says:

    Follow your dreams with gusto!!!

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  12. Joan says:

    Best wishes for you on your new juorney Sandi!! I went back to school as an “older” student…you’ll be just fine!

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  13. InJuneau says:

    Remember, Bishop Mark MacDonald is prob. still there in Canada somewhere and would prob. love to help you figure out your path, if it leads toward ministry (or prob. even if not)!

    Like

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